Day 196

I interned tonight.  Unfortunately I was not only too tired to Jam it up at the All-Star Celebrity Jam for Charity hosted by 3033, but I let my fear get a hold of me.

Yup.  I still get nervous, especially in a Jam situation.  I guess this will always be true, I mean the fear part.  What's going to change is allowing that fear to win.  From now on, I'm going to follow the fear...and whether I succeed or fail in my performance (or my writing...there's some fear there too), it won't matter. 

I'm going to do it because I was put here to do it.  And it's far worse to deny that and miss opportunities than to save face by not trying and therefore not failing.  That's really a failure in itself.  A failure that you can't learn from, other than reminding yourself that not doing anything at all is far worse than giving it a shot, come what may.

This upcoming Friday, I'm definitely going to try to play an actual game (provided there's time and I'm not super exhausted.)  But if it appears that I'm just afraid to get up there, then I'm going to hop on that stage as soon as is humanly possible.  

I love performing.  And I don't want a silly fear to ever prevent me from doing so.  Ever.