Day ???

So again, I've fallen behind.  Why?  Because so many wonderful things are happening!

I'm writing again.  That's right.  I'm working on two different stories.  Not sure if they're novels or short stories, but they're alive and growing, and I'm really excited about it.

Also, this past weekend were the auditions for the Playground's Incubator program.  Long story short:  I made the newest Incubator team!


I can't even begin to tell you how excited, happy, and humbled I am about this.  There was so much talent between the first audition and the callbacks.  To have been chosen from such a group has really made me appreciate all the hard work and respect we improvisers have for this fun and amazing work we do. 

My mindset during the whole experience was to stay away from any form of judgment first of all.  When I say this, I mainly mean judgment of myself.  I used to do this a lot before, but I've been working on this in all facets of my life, and thankfully, I let it go a while back and it stayed away during the audition.  This freed me up to do the next thing I made sure to do:  just have a shit ton of fun. 

I wanted to play and have a great time.  I wanted to discover things and play with new people.  I wanted to have a positive experience and just let go.  So I did.  I didn't beat myself up for anything, even if after a scene or montage I thought about what I could have done better.  That's never going to go away.  But what I realized is that I just had to be present, in the moment, and play to the best of my ability while having the most fun I could possibly have.

Which isn't hard to do, because improv is probably the most fun (next to my moments with my son) I ever have.

Again, I can't begin to tell you how grateful I am that I get to be a part of this new journey and experience and I can't wait to work with the other nine very talented improvisers who were also chosen.  But honestly, everyone I got to work with during the auditions was so super cool and talented, there isn't a single one I wouldn't play with. 

Chicago is an amazing place, with amazing improv talent.  And I am blessed to be a part of it.

*Happy Dance!*

Day 197

I love Saturdays.  I'm taking my Level 4B on Saturdays and so far, the first two classes have been incredible.  Today I played a sheep, some sort of migraine bacteria (hahaha), a disgusting yoga instructor, a child in a swimming pool, a fish in a Petco fish tank, and so many other wonderful characters...surrounded by the wonderful characters my classmates brought. 

I'm so honest when I say that improv has changed my life.  It's not only that I love it...
...it's a part of me.

Day 196

I interned tonight.  Unfortunately I was not only too tired to Jam it up at the All-Star Celebrity Jam for Charity hosted by 3033, but I let my fear get a hold of me.

Yup.  I still get nervous, especially in a Jam situation.  I guess this will always be true, I mean the fear part.  What's going to change is allowing that fear to win.  From now on, I'm going to follow the fear...and whether I succeed or fail in my performance (or my writing...there's some fear there too), it won't matter. 

I'm going to do it because I was put here to do it.  And it's far worse to deny that and miss opportunities than to save face by not trying and therefore not failing.  That's really a failure in itself.  A failure that you can't learn from, other than reminding yourself that not doing anything at all is far worse than giving it a shot, come what may.

This upcoming Friday, I'm definitely going to try to play an actual game (provided there's time and I'm not super exhausted.)  But if it appears that I'm just afraid to get up there, then I'm going to hop on that stage as soon as is humanly possible.  

I love performing.  And I don't want a silly fear to ever prevent me from doing so.  Ever.

Day 195

I am not a violent person.

As a matter of fact, many people have informed me that I'm probably "too nice."

However, when it comes to my kid...I can turn Hulk in an instant.  Well, sort of.  I mean, I do have self-control.  But that doesn't stop the initial surge of fiery adrenaline pumping through my veins when I'm told some kid went bat-shit crazy and tried to punch my son and nearly hit him with a plastic baseball bat---over a swing.

Luckily everything is fine now, but seriously...nothing hurts more that that.  Not a bad breakup, not failing a major final, not losing your job, not even a gallbladder attack (which I will argue is worse than labor, being that I've experienced both.) 

Parenthood isn't easy, but it's worth it. 

Day 194

Saw Cesar's last "Felt" performance tonight, followed by Tj and Dave, impromptu karaoke at Holiday Club, and closing down Nick's. 

It was a super fun night, which even included an old photo booth.

I really love my friends.  And I'm going to miss the one's who are leaving...but I know they'll do great!

Day 193

Max turned 10 today.

First of all, I can't believe a decade passed so quickly.  It seems like just yesterday I was at the maternity store trying to find the most stylish pair of jeans containing an elastic front belly panel.  (Actually, I found 2 pairs, which I saved thinking there would be another baby at some point.  That idea is still up in the air.   Really high up in the air.  Still, the jeans are in a box in my parents' garage.)

Second of all, it's amazing to me to think that I've been a parent for 1/3rd of my life.  Let's put this into perspective for a moment.  I spent 1/3rd as a young child, 1/3rd as an adolescent, and this past third as a parent.  So, in addition to trying to figure out my own adult life, I was also sustaining a completely separate human life. 

That's pretty huge, no?

And amazingly?  He's turned out really great. 

I couldn't be more proud of him and who he is.

Day 192

I applied for a couple jobs today.   Fingers crossed!  That about sums this Monday up. 

So interesting, I know.

Day 126 - 191 OR "What Happened to March and April?!"

So, I blew it.  I managed to get so far behind that there's no way to go back and rewrite all of the blog posts for March AND April.

But you know what?  It's cool.  Instead, I'll just continue fresh and just jot down a few of the high and low points for the past 60 some odd days:

• I finished Level 4 at iO, which was an amazing experience.
• I'm still unemployed. (But looking!)
• I have a Life/Wellness Coach and it's been amazing.
• I auditioned for a show and didn't make it, however, I did really well for my first real audition.  Go me
• I'm still a redhead.
• I haven't gained or lost any weight.  This is fantastic, as it's the longest I've maintained my weight in years.  (Although, with bikini season on the horizon, I'd like to tone up just a smidge.)
• I'm still addicted to coffee.  Probably more now than ever.
• There are always plums in my house these days.  So delicious.
• I bought my first lawnmower.  And have now become that yard freak constantly wanting to maintain the short, fresh mowed lawn.
• I will not mow one of my neighbors' yards because they haven't even introduced themselves yet, and it's not that I'm mean, but gas is expensive and I can't let them believe that it's not their responsibility to take care of their part of the property.  (Unless they argue that it's actually MY property, in which case, commence measuring for the deck and or pool...or at the very least a putting green for Max.)
• I'm getting better at cooking.  No really.  
• I realize a little more everyday how much I love life with a toaster oven.
• I have actual living room furniture now.
• I tried to weed my garden.  All I know is that the brown stuff is dead stuff.  I can't differentiate between good green things and bad green things.
• One of my friends recently told me that she missed the Tiff who openly embraced her awkwardness.  I do too, actually.  So, embrace it again I will.  I am often pretty awkward and I'm just fine with that these days.  

From here on out, it's a fresh start to the blog.  So please, come back often.  Maybe even daily.

Okay...weekly is probably a better option.

And hey, here's a file from something I actually heard while walking in the vicinity of Wrigleyville this morning: Jogger to his jogging partner: "You won't believe how many wind farts there are."

True story. 

(And actually, I do believe it, sir.  But thanks for the heads up.)